A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
