Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize