My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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