so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
