never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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