all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
