I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
