she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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