bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
