thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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