So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
