Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
