you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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