I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
