You kept calling me your small dog last night.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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