shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
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she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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