And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
