I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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