I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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