please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
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