She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
