She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
