I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
