After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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