just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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