It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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