maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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