I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
