I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
