I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
