My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
