Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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