oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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