don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
