i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
