either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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