Well apparently he's into motor boating.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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