I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Randomize
