He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
