I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
