Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
