what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
