I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Floor bacon is actually really good
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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