apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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