We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
