wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
