He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
if only i could text you this smell
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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