I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
