my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I need water and some morals
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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