He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She bit a glass in half.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
