Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
