Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
