there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
