she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
either way he was missing a nipple.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
