To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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