Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
