Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
