I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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