some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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