I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
