i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
this just has baby written all over it
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
