He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
