you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
