well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
