Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
